Hello Loneliness
Hello Loneliness
By Sharon Goff
Hello, Loneliness,
Not happy you’re here,
Again
Giving me such intense fear.
Heaviness
No end in sight
Hopeless as panic sets in
Too familiar with Fawn/flight/fight.
What do I do
With you
This time, Loneliness?
I feel so goddamn blue.
Chest tight,
Can’t breathe,
Insides jumping
Out of skin,
Wanting to heave.
Balk
Fear
Want to run
My first instincts are clear.
All right, fine
You win, Loneliness
You’re teaching me I am not fine.
Please show me
Complacency and paralysis indeed my shrine.
My blanket
We’ll get under.
Let’s have our usual popcorn.
Figure out how to rip this madness asunder.
As I squirm, distract,
Cry, or skin pick,
Trying to soothe myself
And not feel more sick.
No one calling me
No likes or virals
So easily get into my own head
Soon enough my emotion spirals.
Trying to fight you or run
Only makes it worse.
As the sages say
The emotion can only coerce.
When I allow and have acceptance,
And I invite you in,
I feel we’re just dear old friends
Forcing me to seek out more zen.
I will honor you
Because you have something to teach.
I will honor you
Because your compassionate and do not preach.
We are in this together, Loneliness.
There is no other reason but
Learning, growing
In this desert season.
I’m awake, finally.
I’m alive, finally.
I’m conscious, finally.
I’m practicing the Present, finally.
You have already unfolded gifts to me, Loneliness.
I feel there are more to come in due time.
For within your grips, I learn
To create and to live into the sublime.
You’ve been with me
Since the beginning of time.
Don’t know when, why, or how;
Sentenced to life of loneliness crime.
Sometimes you’ve been better
Sometimes you’ve been worse
That haunting feeling creeping in
Makes me act quite terse.
Before I even realized it
I’ve considered you my foe
But now I am Conscious
Better to make you my friend I now know.
Okay Loneliness,
I won’t separate from you any longer.
The more I sit with you and deal with you,
I become braver and stronger.
So, come on Loneliness,
Let’s do this damn thing.
I embrace you fully,
Until you can teach my heart anew to sing.
I may try to run again
Please be gentle with me
Let me know you’re actually my friend
Not to entrap me but to set me free.
It is of high value, Loneliness,
What you are trying to tell me
Not give in to the hellish, empty void
But to keep overcoming and something better to be.
Well, It’s now morning, Loneliness,
We got through yet another night.
Have a good day, Loneliness,
And I’ll see you again tonight.